Happy New Year

Dateline: September 11th.
I am on an airline.
Danger, Will Robinson.

Late-breaking news flash from airline-land: The Department of Homeland Security has raised the Threat Level to Orange! Again!

No, wait, it’s been Orange for years.

My theory is that Threat Level Red means TSA personnel put guns to our heads as they search our baggage. They’re still working out the bugs in Red; the automatic rifles keep setting off those pesky detectors of terrorist weapons.

Perhaps they could use something old-fashioned and reliable instead, like homemade peach jam. The peach jam I am taking to my elderly and disabled father is apparently an illicit gel.

After many exciting adventures and two baggage searches for terrorist condiments, I am actually allowed–oh rapture!–both to mail my father his present and to board an airplane. I did remember to shave the corners of my head and trim my beard very short this morning, but I forgot to wear my red-white-and-blue t-shirt. Oh, well.

The fact that I’m travelling by air on September 11th must be some kind of sign concerning Tim Schaffert. For I brave the forest of spike-topped flags at the United counter and the video game screens that invite me to spend my layover hours bombing Baghdad (though it promises perfect lifelike action, human death on all sides seems mysteriously absent) in order to be part of the Omaha Litfest. Okay, to be with my parents over the holidays, and to be part of the Omaha Litfest.

Tim Schaffert runs the Omaha Litfest (September 14-15. Be there, Aloha.) Tim Schaffert has put me on several panels, including one called How to Develop a Cult Following.

How can you not love such a man?

Book for the Day: Tim Schaffert, The Singing and Dancing Daughters of God

Film for the Day: Superman Returns. I invite viewers to look up the history of Superman’s invention and consider the racial implications of this film. Then go read anything by Tim Schaffert, which may not save the world from swarthy middle easterners, sarcastic dames, and white guys with tattoos, but which will certainly cheer you up.

Meanwhile, the Song for the Day is On the Road Again. Here’s my schedule! Come see me if I’m in your town:

September 14-15–Omaha, Nebraska- Omaha Lit Fest September 14-15

September 20-21–Bellvue, WA–reading at the Pacific NW Bookseller’s Association Conference September 20, 3-3:30pm

September 25th–Portland, OR–reading at the Kennedy School, 7:30pm

September 30/October 2–Los Angeles, CA–West Hollywood Bookfair September 30, Michael Kearns & Other Queer Renegades 2:15pm. Reading at A Different Light LA October 2, 7:30pm

October 16–New York City–reading at the School of Visual Arts 1-2pm, at the NYC LGBT Center 6:30pm 

November 1-3 Nonfiction Now conference in Iowa City–news flash…maybe Brown University, who just asked if we could come to the New England American Studies Conference instead. I am dusting off my Erlenmeyer flasks, but I’m not sure I can get a clone to adulthood by Halloween. Stay tuned for further details.

November 7–Portland, OR–forum at Marylhurst University, 7pm

November 15–Pullman, WA–reading at Washington State University.

November 26-30–Lincoln, NE–my exhibit Family will be installed in the Nebraska Union Rotunda. The opening event will be Nov. 26, 3-5pm.

And as an internet-savvy fan reminds me, I should really link you to where you can buy my book

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3 Comments on “Happy New Year”

  1. john c Says:

    Jeez…now I have to share you with a whole CULT?

  2. Jess Says:

    Aaron !

    This is Jessica Kennison, aka: OmahaMomma, I was at your panel yesterday about the Cult Following, it was before mine “The Devil in Miss Jones”, I didn’t have enough time to introduce myself and tell you how excited I am to read your book. On top of telling you how great you did at the panel, uhm that was me in the front row that snorted when I laughed. Sorry about that .

    Well, now that I’m rambling that’s pretty much all I really needed to say !

    Jess

  3. WSU Alumni Says:

    So how’d Pullman go?


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